We took Fel to the American Girl Place to “meet a friend”.
It’s been 3 hours and she hasn’t stopped hugging and talking to her new doll, I am entirely convinced that this has been one of the top 25 parenting decisions @loki-god-of-memes and I have made so far.

@loki-god-of-memes stop being a freakin’ Grinch and get your butt down here, I’m too short to hang these lights.

the only real otp question that matter is which one has an oversized shirt with “SEX MACHINE” written on it in impact font and always wears it at the worst times possible

It’s green, says “Allow me to Slytherin” in fancy letters, and I swear to God he only ever puts it on to answer the door.

@loki-god-of-memes – first off, I can hear your audiobook through your headphones from aaaaall the way over here.
Second, my heat pad unplugged itself, can you plug it back in, please?
Third: I’ll love you forever and ever if you would make me some tea ❤

loki-god-of-memes:

venomseatingthememes:

Tuesday is movie might and I have made venom promise not to eat people. So if anyone has any suggestions on snacks to give him throughout, I’d appreciate you.

Twizzlers. They work wonders. Their color and texture will help with those who are more… carnivorous. I deal with dragons, and for some reason twizzlers calm some of their baser urges when dealing with their natural prey. Slim Jims also help, seeing as they are actually meat.

Well, when it comes to our five year old (who has a lot in common with a sentient, alien parasite, when you think about it) Oreos, Nilla wafers, teddy grahams, shortbread cookies and frosted animal crackers. Specifically, the ones with sprinkles. Actually, anything with sprinkles works…

Oh, and diced ham. And bacon bits. The real ones, not that imitation crap. Jerky. Sausage. Pepperoni. Oh! Bagel Bites and Pizza rolls, too.

Tupperware and McCarthyism both began in the late 1940s. Was having one worth having the other? Discuss.

loki-god-of-memes:

d-lewis-avengerwrangler:

The invention of Tupperware was the best thing since the birth of Betty White, and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise.

But ‘tis so difficult for those accursed lids to close. I push one side down and the other rises back up! I’d rather put our leftovers in stasis.

Right, because that works SO well in our daughter’s lunchbox.

Just slam the whole cover down with your entire hand or use two hands to push both sides down at once, doofus.

DADDY LOOK AT ALL MY CANDY I GOT! I’ M GONNA TRIGGER TREAT YOU, TOO~! I will do… A KISSY TRICK! I’m gonna kiss your cheek like a FIFTY MILLION times! Uh… Ummm…You’re too tall Daddy, you gotta bend down, please.

loki-god-of-memes:

I shall bend down on one knee for each and every kiss you would give me, sweetling.

…You’re aware she’s going to immediately try to blow a spit laden raspberry kiss in your ear, right?

Your eldest set the stable on fire again.

loki-god-of-memes:

Well, you know what they always say. ‘Tis always the quiet ones.

*Ahem* I mean, dearest, that I’ll have a chat with him to see what is wrong.

i’ve been having flashbacks about asgard and the allfucker so i did the thing and got kinda carried away. again.

plus i like the smell of burning leaves so there’s that.

also was that ‘’quiet ones’’ thing a joke about me being non-verbal

because if so you’re losing your touch in your old age, mother.

– sleipnir

Superheroes can broadly be classified into science nerds, magicians, and weirdos. Look around and if you can’t spot the weirdo, it’s you.

loki-god-of-memes:

tchallameme:

winters-wonderland:

tchallameme:

winters-wonderland:

tchallameme:

princess-of-wakandmeme:

tchallameme:

memewarmachinerox:

Good thing I fall into the first category.

Same here Colonel. Though, I would like to add that some of us fall into two categories. *eyes @princess-of-wakandmeme*

Excuse me but you definitely fall into the last category ass well brother

*grins playfully* It must be because we’ve spent so much time together.

Is there one of you who falls into all 3 categories?

Darcy. If there was one, it would be Darcy. She was able to keep up with Jane and Selvig, is now married to Loki with children, and somehow has managed to keep both of these groups stable, which is the weird aspect.

You know what? I will agree with you. Though thankfully Darcy is the good kind of weirdo. And not the stalk-you-in-the-night kind or the creepy kind.

I have so much respect for anyone who can try to maintain sanity and order among my friends and colleagues. It’s amazing that people even try, let alone succeed. @loki-god-of-memes probably agrees with me on this.

Seconded. She is such an exquisite creature. And to think she is all mine.